I am here because I have questions. I am on a journey where I know honesty and vulnerability are essential. I am committed to these things, even if it frightens me. I too would like to have everything all figured out. I'd like that illusion of control! But I have also begun to feed a hunger for mystery. I've tasted it and I remember its tantalizing flavor on my tongue. My soul tells me a story. It sings to me a song I've only ever heard in my dreams. I can't ever sing it all the way through. It's a mist and a glimpse of something I think I've always wanted. The mystery of life is captured in glimpses of nature and music and poetry and other earthy bits of life that can't be easily captured. I wander through this place as if in a dream. I open my mouth and taste the music of the rocks and trees. I close my eyes and see the edges of another reality pushing through the limitations of this life. I run my hands over the possibilities of another dimension beyond time and space. I remember the places I've never visited and I swim through the stars in another ocean. I look through the still deep waters and fall into the brightness of a brand new mountain range birthed in the sky at my feet. These are the wonders to sustain me for a whole new lifetime. I'm not yet ready to leap into the mystery unanchored from this present reality but I make forays into this unknown and return altered in secret ways. I smile to myself and carry these secrets to keep me going in our present place where mystery is feared and control revered. My soul needs the secret foods of mystery; it doesn't thrive on logic and control. It dreams and flies and sings. My soul dips under the waters of reason and dives into the depths of mystery, swimming for ages before returning satiated. It brings with it a fragrance of the stars yet to be born. This is a gift of wonder given to me to keep me dreaming and hoping. Nothing needs to be explained. Nothing needs to make sense. Everything is possible. So much that is wonderful is hidden from our eyes and from our understanding. No need to reign in your wonder! Control isn't a possibility! Wonder is the sunset to be enjoyed. Wonder is the dream yet to be dreamed. Mystery is folded in secret places and fitted into my soul. There it will keep forever, fluttering its wings until it flies up and out into the light. Meanwhile, I still carry it as the secret it is. It warms me in this land of cold reason and blind faith. My soul sustains me with eternal light and life. This life cannot be snuffed out. This flickering flame will not go out. No matter how violently the winds howl or how menacingly the darkness suffocates, the little light of mine will shine. This is the gift from God: He gives us the soul to never be tamed. Or stolen. Or twisted. Or unmade. It is a faithful and free agent of the God of the Universe. It sings His own song. It tells His own story. It witnesses to a place unspoiled by greed or shame or pride. It flies straight to the heart of God and knows no other home. It beats with the heart-beat of heaven. It knows all the songs sung there. It knows all the beauty birthed there. My soul is a piece of heaven to keep me near. It sings to me of the place I've never known. It sings to be to bring me home: Not someday far away but right here right now. I may live here in this land of cold reason and blind faith, but one part of me, at least, knows that this is not my home. Hidden in the midst of logical pragmatism and scientific rationalism, is a secret world teeming with the mystery that never ceases to tantalize my soul. Around the corner and through the folded edges of reality I slip into this place my soul knows well. Here I feast and drink in the beautiful abundance of mystery.